Literary Art and Illustration – Page 27 – Images and Thoughts to Inspire Your Intellect and Infuse Your Imagination!

A Fundamental Transformation: “How I’ll Become an American”, by Miklós Vámos, The New York Times, April 17, 1987

Here’s a light and humorous essay about becoming an American (or, if you prefer, an “American”) from The New York Times of 1987, by writer Miklós Vámos. It’s accompanied by a clever illustration by the multi-skilled, multi-faceted Terry Allen.

Enjoy the words.

And, enjoy the picture.

How I’ll Become an American
Miklós Vámos

The New York Times
April 17, 1987

NEW HAVEN

I have been Hungarian for 38 years. I’ll try something else for the next 38. I’ll try to be American, for instance. North American, I mean. As an American, I’ll speak English fluently. I’ll make American mistakes instead of Hungarian mistakes and I’ll call them slang. As an American, I’ll have a credit card. Or two. I’ll use and misuse them and have to pay the fees. I’ll apply for other cards right away. Golden Visa. Golden American. Golden Gate. And I’ll buy a car, a great American car. Then I’ll sell my car and buy a smaller West German car because it’s reliable and doesn’t use so much gasoline. Later, I’ll sell it and buy a smaller Japanese car with a computer aboard. Then I’ll sell it and buy a camper. When I sell the camper I’ll buy a bicycle.

As an American, I’ll buy a dog. And a cat. And a goat. And a white whale. And also some big stones as pets.

I’ll live in my own house. It will be mine, except for the 99 percent mortgage. I’ll sell my house and buy a condo. I’ll sell my condo and buy a mobile home. I’ll sell my mobile home and buy an igloo. I’ll sell my igloo and buy a tent. As an American, I’ll be clever: I’ll sell my igloo and buy a tent when I move to Florida from Alaska.

Anyway, I’ll move a lot. And I’ll buy the best dishwasher, microwave, dryer and hi-fi in the world — that is, the U.S.A. I’ll have warranty for all — or my money back. I’ll use automatic toothbrushes, egg boilers and garage doors. I’ll call every single phone number starting 1-800.

I’ll buy the fastest food I can get and I’ll eat it very slowly because I’ll watch TV during the meals. Of course, I’ll buy a VCR. I’ll watch the taped programs and then retape. Sometimes I’ll retape first.

As an American, I’ll have an answering machine, too. The outgoing message will promise that I’ll call you back as soon as possible, but it won’t be possible soon.

If I answer the phone as an exception, I’ll tell you that I can’t talk now because I have a long-distance call on the other line, but I’ll call you back as soon as possible (see above).

Illustration by Terry Allen

And I’ll get a job. I’ll always be looking for a better job, but I won’t get the job I want. I’ll work really hard since as an American I wanna be rich. I’ll be always in a hurry: Time Is Money. Unfortunately, my time won’t be worth as much money as my bosses’ time. Sometimes I will have some time and I still won’t have enough money. Then I’ll start to hate the wisdom of this saying.

As an American, sometimes I’ll be badly depressed. I’ll be the patient of 12 psychiatrists, and I’ll be disappointed with all of them. I’ll try to change my life a little bit. I’ll try to exchange my wives, my cars, my lovers, my houses, my children, my jobs and my pets.

Sometimes, I’ll exchange a few dollars into other currencies and I’ll travel to Europe, Hawaii, Tunisia, Martinique and Japan. I’ll be happy to see that people all over the world are jealous of us Americans.

I’ll take at least 2,000 snapshots on each trip. I’ll also buy a video camera and shoot everywhere. I’ll look at the tapes, photos and slides, and I’ll try to remember my experiences when I have time and am in the mood. But I won’t have time or be in the mood because I’ll get depressed again and again.

I’ll smoke cigarettes. Then I’ll be afraid of cancer and I’ll stop. I’ll smoke cigars. And opium. I’ll take a breather and then try LSD and heroin and cocaine and marijuana. To top it all off: crack. I’ll try to stop then but I won’t be able.

I’ll call 1-800-222-HELP. If nothing helps, I’ll have some gay experiences. And swing. And if I am still unhappy, I’ll make a final effort: I’ll try to read a book. I’ll buy some best sellers. I’ll prefer James A. Michener. My second favorite will be the “How to Be Rich in Seven Weeks.” I’ll try to follow this advice in seven years.

I’ll always be concerned about my health as an American. I won’t eat anything but health food until I get ill. From time to time, I’ll read in the paper that I should stop eating meat sugar, bread, fiber, grains, iron toothpaste, and that I should stop drinking milk, soda, water, acid rain. I’ll try to follow this advice, but then I’ll read in the paper that I should do it the other way around.

I’ll be puzzled. “Hey, I don’t even know what cholesterol is!” Yet I’ll stick to decaf coffee, sugar-free cookies, salt-free butter and lead-free gasoline. I’ll believe that proper diet and exercise make life longer. I’ll go jogging every day until I am mugged twice and knocked down three times. Then I’ll just exercise in my room, but it will also increase my appetite. I’ll go on several diets, and little by little I’ll reach 200 pounds.

As an American, I’ll buy a new TV every time a larger screen appears on the market. In the end, the screen will be larger than the room. It will be difficult to put this enormous TV into my living room; thus, I will put my living room into the TV. Anyway, my living room will look very much like the living rooms you can see on the screen. My life won’t differ from the lives you can see in the soaps: nobody will complain. I won’t complain either. I’ll always smile.

After all, we are Americans, aren’t we?

Miklos Vamos, a Hungarian novelist and playwright, is spending the year at the Yale School of Drama.

And what else?

Miklós Vámos, at…

… Miklós Vámos.com (at Wayback Machine)

… Wikipedia

… GoodReads

… Tablet Magazine (Essay: “Things to Do After My Death”, February 15, 2024)

… The Guardian (Book review: “The Sins of the Fathers”, August 26, 2006)

Terry Allen, at…

… Wikipedia

… TerryAllenArtMusic.com

… Smithsonian Oral History Interview (April 22, 1998)

… Texas Highways (“A New Book Details the Life of Terry Allen and His ‘Truckload of Art’”, March 18, 2024)

… Elephant Art (“Terry Allen Just Wants to Get Back Into His Studio”, March 11, 2024)

The Flight of the Albatross: The Art of the Albatros, Issue III

Here’s the third of my three posts showing the cover art and interior illustrations of Albatros. This third issue, a double issue comprising numbers 3 and 4, was published in Berlin in 1923.

Here’s Foldari Books’ 2018 catalog description of this combined issue:

“The cover of the last issue (no. 3/4) was created by Henryk Berlewi, the front with a modernist typographic design, the rear with a linocut figure placed in the center. These numbers contain the most illustrations, many were printed on special paper and mounted onto the pages, among them the reproductions of Joseph Chaikov’s sculptures, and Issachar Ber Ryback’s painting. It contains a full page and a smaller sized linocut by Berlewi, and other illustrations by Szwarc, Leib Lozowik (Louis Lozowick), Yossef Abu HaGlili and Sterling (?).”

My photograph of the first page in the 1978 Jerusalem reprint…

…and the issue’s first page, from Foldari. Immediately obvious is the original’s use of red-tinted paper. Not so in the Jerusalem reprint.

Here’s page two of Foldari’s original copy, showing a painting by Leyb Lozovik (Louis Lozowick) entitled “Space” or “Red Circle”, in the form of a photographic print attached to the page.

However, there’s some confusion going on here! In the 1978 reprint, in which – at least, in comparison with the Foldari original above – the photograph (evident by the location of the caption and artist’s signature) has been printed upside down. (Oops.)

You can view an image of the original painting at the Vilcek Foundation, which describes the painting as “oil on canvas board”, of dimensions 18″ x 15″, with an incorrect creation date of 1924. Here’s the painting as it appeared in 2018 at the website of Jonathan Boos. (No longer there in 2024!)

The Roosevelt Island Historical Society provides the following information about Lozovik: “Louis Lozowick was born in 1892 in Ludvinovka, Ukraine, then part of the Russian empire. Lozowick’s interest in art began in 1903 when he enrolled in the Kiev Art School. This early education was a formative experience for Lozowick; he would spend the rest of his career pursuing art studies.

Seeking greater civil and economic liberties, Lozowick followed his brother to New York in 1906. Lozowick arrived at Ellis Island alone, and was stunned by the modern developments of the growing metropolis. New York was unlike anything he had seen during his rural upbringing in Russia, with the vertical architecture and industrialized economy. From 1912 to 1915, Lozowick attended the prestigious National Academy of Design in New York. He studied under Ivan Olinsky, Emil Carlsen, Douglas Volk, George W. Maynard, and Leon Kroll. The curriculum was largely academic in tradition, a style that he felt did not accurately portray the modern city. In 1915, Lozowick began his college studies at Ohio State University, where he graduated in three short years.

He served briefly in the army in 1919 with the U.S. participation in World War I. Immediately after his discharge, Lozowick embarked on a cross-country trip, visiting major industrial cities of the United States. The visual landscape of these cities, filled with smokestacks, factories, skyscrapers, and the expanding network of highways, informed his style in the years to follow.

In 1922, Lozowick traveled to Europe like many like-minded artists seeking avant-garde movements. He first went to Paris, where he studied French at the Sorbonne Institute and surveyed the Cubist masterpieces of Juan Gris and Fernand Léger. He then went to Berlin, a city vibrant with artists and intellectuals. Lozowick was drawn in particular to the Russian Constructivists, who championed the machine aesthetic through abstraction and minimalism. His art career took off in this experimental environment, as he was inspired by the works of El Lissitsky and Kazimir Malevich.

~~~~~~~~~~

Red Circle is a series of overlapping architectural forms and geometric shapes. The repeated window patterns on the starkly linear buildings suggest a landscape of factories; the cylindrical forms at center represent the smoke stacks adjacent to an industrial facility. The grey palette of the composition is further heightened by the dark shadows cast by the buildings from an unidentified light source. Four fractured, red circles overlap with the buildings.”

On page 1 appears a linocut by Marek Szwarc, albeit this work has a title: “Friends Cry at The Border”.

Here’s Foldari’s image of the original. Like other linocuts in Albatros, this piece, too, occupies only a part of the page “real-estate”.

This photographic print of an untitled sculpture by Yosef Tshaykov (Joseph Chaikov) appears on page 3…

…while this is the Foldari image of the same page.

Another work by Yosef Tshaykov (Joseph Chaikov): This photographic print of a bas relief is attached to page 4.

Here’s Yisakhar Ber Ribak’s (Issachar Ber-Ryback) painting, entitled “Still Life with Alef-Beys”, on page 6. Again, the image is a photographic print attached to the page.