“It is strange how the mind can leapfrog across the years,
selecting from a million, million memories for one that is even faintly relevant,
while rejecting all the others.”
C Charlies was like a fly crawling over this darkened clock face.
It had been aimed at the narrow illuminated section,
but might already have missed it,
to remain lost in the blackness that covered almost all the dial.
So this, Alan told himself without really believing it,
was probably the most dangerous moment of his life.
Introspection was not normally one of his vices;
he could worry with the best,
but did not waste time watching himself worrying.
Yet now, as he roared across the night sky toward an unknown destiny,
he found himself facing that bleak and ultimate question which so few men can answer to their satisfaction.
What have I done with my life, he asked himself,
that the world will be the poorer if I leave it now?
He had no sooner framed the thought than he rejected it as unfair.
At twenty-three, no-one could be expected to have made a mark on the world,
or even to have decided what sort of mark he wished to make.
Very well, the question could be reframed in more specific terms:
How many people will be really sorry if I’m killed now?
There was no evading this.
It struck too close to home,
brought back too vivid a memory of the tearless gathering around his father’s grave.
______________________________
It is strange how the mind can leapfrog across the years,
selecting from a million,
million memories for one that is even faintly relevant,
while rejecting all the others.





















